Strange things are happening in my life...

"Put on some make-up"
"Your eyebrows are too thin. It doesn't go well with your face"
"Your face is glowing. Reduce it a bit"
"Being overweight or whatever is just an excuse for not looking after yourself. Put on some nice clothes and you will see that when you go into the library, the guys will look at you"
"If you keep on acting like this, you will either date a guy 2-3 years younger than you or you will be dating a guy that is way older than you"
"Buy fake fingernails. For a girl, bitten fingernails are like -1000 points"

And so I have listened and listened. It seems like one of those lame reality tv shows isn't it. It's so easy to be full of confidence. Just go shopping, pay 100 euros in total and BOOM! All the guys will look at you. It's that easy for them I guess because when they were 19, they were like that and they dated so it must be simple.
If x=y and
y=z then x=z right? Yeah right..

The problem is, I have wanted so many things from God and He is now telling me "Basak! Stop complaining and whining and thank Me." and he was right because a really weird thing happened to me 2 days ago. (I dunno if I should say it here) but let's just say the frequency of my behaviour is either equivalent to a 16 year old's or a 30 year old's. How extreme isn't it? I have wanted something extreme from God and he gave it to me. It's pathetic and sad for me and I don't know what to do for that offer.
I wish it was that easy, to just pay 100 euros and be full of confidence (Like those reality shows). Buy some boots, go to the gym, put on some make-up and everyone will look at me. Is it really that easy? What about self-esteem? What about tastes in art or sex??


No,thanks, I'd rather be lonely.
I like the tragedy.

...